The Dream Seed is Planted
The year was 2008, my eventual husband and I were driving country roads in Southern Arkansas. We were there for a funeral, his grandmother had passed away. Circumstances for why I was in this situation are unique. Jeff and I had ended our relationship a mere week before. We were struggling with what we wanted to see in our lives together. Jeff was already a father to a beautiful 8 year-old daughter. He was committed to her and invested in being her father. Where there was deliberation, was whether or not he wanted to add to that joy. Prior to reconnecting with Jeff, I hadn’t spent a lot time considering whether or not I wanted children. (Jeff and I dated when I was a senior in high school. I was headed to college and he had great job, it wasn’t destined to be…or so I thought). After reconnecting, I knew that he was my forever and that I wanted to be a mother. We were at an impasse.
It was the 4th of July holiday, I was at my grandmother’s house and he was camping at a high mountain lake. His mother called to make me aware of his grandma’s passing, she couldn’t get a hold of him, he didn’t have cell service. I drove the 4 hours south to share the sad news. The next thing you know, I was traveling to Arkansas, supporting Jeff and his daughter. I have always been thankful to Grandma Wagner. I believe that it was her divine intervention that made Jeff and I see around our stubborn ways and recognize that what we had was worth fighting for. I was always told what a wise woman his grandmother was. I think that even in her death, she imparted her wisdom.
So, there we were, driving down the country roads with open pastures surrounding us. Jeff had always talked about moving back to this part of the country. He wanted to live where it was green, where water was plenty and where he could own a vast amount of land. When Jeff was a boy, around 13 years old, he raised, showed and sold a steer for 4-H. With the money he earned, he invested in a savings bond. A wise choice for an eighth grader. He has always planned on purchasing his first cow with this money, once he purchased his land. He has always held onto this dream. This was the first time I had even considered living in the country (I had spent the last several years living in metropolitan cities), but I found myself entertaining the thought of making huge meals of fried chicken and potato salad. A bit cliche for sure, but as I sat in the truck that day, I could see everything so clearly.
We returned to Texarkana, where Jeff’s parents lived. We were pretty exhausted from the quick trip and the events of the day. Both Jeff and I were craving a cold frothy beverage. Unfortunately, on the Texas side of Texarkana they are dry, they don’t sell alcohol. We took a drive to the Arkansas/Texas state line. While on our drive, I said to Jeff, in passing, “Shoot, we might as well just go ahead and get married.” I didn’t have intent behind my words, but I said them, plain as day. Jeff didn’t miss a beat, he replied, “Ok, but you have to ask Mamaw’s (his mom) permission.” I didn’t know what to say, but kind of passed it off as a joke. When we returned to his parent’s house, he put me on the spot. In front of his mom, he told her that I needed to ask her a question.
There it is, our extremely romantic proposal story. There are times when I have told him that I should have had some grande gesture, but that isn’t fair. I wouldn’t have had it any other way. He makes me laugh. His intentions in that moment of spontaneity couldn’t be more clear, he wanted to marry me. Although the fulfillment of living in the country wouldn’t happen for many years, a seed had been planted and it started on the Arkansas state line.